Comedians plan to lampoon Glenn Beck rally on October 30, with competing political events on the National Mall.By Gil Kaufman
Jon Stewart and Stephen ColbertPhoto: Mathew Imaging/ Getty Images
If you chance to be in Washington D.C. on October 30 and heat up to see yourself surrounded by a sea of Sarah Palins and Glenn Becks, don`t freak out.
They`re probably just getting ready for Halloween by putting on their GOP finest for a parade down to a couple of protests planned for that day on the National Mall by "The Daily Show" host Jon Stewart and his fake Republican brother-in-comedy, Stephen Colbert, of the "Colbert Report."
For two weeks now, Stewart has been teasing news of a big announcement, with Colbert threatening to one-up his old chief with his own major announcement, and on Thursday they finally spilled the beans about their plans.
"Tonight, I take you, the actual announcement!" Stewart thundered. He was addressing, he said, the 70 to 80 percent of Americans we don`t see on TV screaming about their political convictions while wearing funny hats, toting misspelled signs and likening our political leadership to Hitler. "Tonight, I declare the Exchange to Restore Sanity. It is happening, people! _ a real gathering. We will collect on the National Center in Washington, D.C. A Million Moderate March, where we need to the streets to place a substance to our leadership and our national media that say, `We are here, but we`re only here until 6 because we hold a sitter.` A clarion call for rationality!"
Both rallies are in answer to Fox News talker Beck`s recent Restoring Hope event, which they have lampooned mercilessly for weeks, poking fun at everything from the fuzzy math on how many attendees were there to see Palin to the apparently contradictory message about religion and hope after Beck`s nonstop bashing of President Obama for using hope as a figure in his 2008 presidential campaign.
On the Exchange to Restore Sanity website, Stewart went into a bit more particular about his brainchild for the event.
"I`m mad as hell, and I`m not going to return it anymore!" reads the introduction on the site`s homepage. "Who among us has not wanted to give their window and cry that at the top of their lungs? Seriously, who? Because we`re looking for those people. We`re looking for the multitude who think shouting is annoying, counterproductive, and painful for your throat; who find that the loudest voices shouldn`t be the only ones that get heard; and who think that the just time it`s appropriate to get a Hitler mustache on someone is when that individual is actually Hitler. Or Charlie Chaplin in certain roles."
Unlike Beck, who said it was merely coincidence that he schedule last month`s event in the sami situation and on the anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.`s famous "I Take a Dream" speech, Stewart said the see of his gathering has "no meaning whatsoever" and it`s aimed at people who are too busy to go to rallies because they have "lives and families and jobs (or are looking for jobs)."
The comic is hoping for a giant bulk of people, but mostly he`d like some subversive, silly fun to go down. "Think of our case as Woodstock, but with the nudity and drugs replaced by respectful disagreement; the Million Man March, only a lot smaller, and a bit less of a sausage fest; or the Assembly of the Juggalos, but rather of throwing our feces at Tila Tequila, we`ll be actively *not* throwing our feces at Tila Tequila," he promised. "Join us in the darkness of the Washington Monument. And get your indoor voice. Or don`t. If you`d rather stay home, go to work, or take your kids to soccer practice _ Actually, please come anyway. Ask the sitter if she can delay a few spare hours, just this once. We`ll do it worth your while."
Colbert`s message about his rival March to Prevent Fear Alive gathering was appropriately more red, white and blue, tinged with a bit of green, as in envy for his recent Emmy loss to Stewart.
"America, the Greatest Country God ever gave Man, was reinforced on three bedrock principles: Freedom. Liberty. And Fear - that somebody might have our Freedom and Liberty," he wrote. "But now, there are dark, optimistic forces trying to get out our Fear - forces with salt-and-pepper hair and way more Emmys than they need. They wish to exchange our Concern with reason. But never forget - `Reason` is only one letter away from `Treason.` Coincidence? Reasonable people would say it is, but America can`t afford to admit that chance."
Colbert encouraged his followers to take an overnight bag with five extra couple of underwear, because "you`re going to take them." Around 25,000 people are expected to see the "competing" events, which will cap a week of tapings by both programs in the nation`s capital.
Do you contrive to see either one of the rallies? Tell us in the comments!
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